Two recent interactions on Twitter (Xitter) have helped congeal an observation I couldn’t quite put a finger on, re: internet culture/etiquette. Both have to do with the unspoken social rules of interaction.

First, I replied to a person’s exorbitantly factually errant statement on Twitter, with a gentle and self-deprecating correction. The response was, “Maybe read my profile before replying to me!”

Imagine, 30 or 40 years ago, if I were walking through, say, Salt Lake City and someone came up to me and said “Salt Lake City is the US state capital at the highest elevation, and that’s what it’s most known for.” 

If I were to reply directly, “That’s not actually true.  First, Mormons, and secondly Salt Lake is only about 4200 feet above sea level. Denver is the “Mile High City” for a reason other than the fact that every citizen has had sex on an airplane. And that’s to say nothing of other state capitals, like Santa Fe, NM at 7,021 feet.”

Wouldn’t it seem odd for the conversation starter to reply to me, “Why don’t you research my life a little before replying to me?” Face to face interactions then and (mostly) now don’t have such ludicrous moments. A direct response to a specific assertion never required additional work. The person went out of their way to make a statement public, and that statement stands on its own for review/discussion.

The second instance came when someone Tweeted (X-creted?) (and I paraphrase), “something something something Bread and Puppet something something something.”

I replied, “What is this “Bread and Puppet” you refer to?

Again, 30 to 40 years ago, in a face to face interaction, I might have expected something like, “Oh, it’s a long-running guerilla theater group using huge puppets, operating out of Vermont. They got started protesting Viet Nam.”

But in the Internet cage-match, the response is “You might try searching.” Or “I’m not here to educate you,” which is frequently deployed. Now, I get it, there are “sea lions” demanding time, research and “emotional labor” from marginalized people on the internet, and it is an important tactic to push back against that abuse. I also get that, in the era of Google, a first response MIGHT best be for me to do a search before asking.

But either way, you have to admit it’s a lot different from a face-to-face interaction has traditionally gone. That tradition is gone. Hell of an observation, eh?

I suppose if I don’t come down on one side or the other, this “Hot Take” becomes a luke-warm take, so I’ll end by saying, with a nod to the Serenity Prayer, “Grant me the civility to reply to legitimate questions, the strength to deflect sea-lions asking questions to waste my time, and the Wisdom to know the difference.”

“Rob, what’s a Sea Lion and what’s emotional labor?“

“Go fuck yourself. Read my profile before asking stoopit shit like that, and look it up yourself. I’m not your emotional beast of burden!”

I guess I’d best keep praying.