Why Won’t Michael Redd Listen to God?

Milwaukee Bucks guard, Michael Redd has re-injured his left ACL, will be out for the remainder of the season. Motivated by “faith,” he intends to push through tedious, painful rehabilitation in order to play ball again.

“God does things for a reason. There’s a reason for everything,” said Redd.

God was contacted for comment, and seemed dismayed: “I’m omniscient and even I don’t understand why he keeps misinterpreting my will for him. I thought the ankle injury would get him thinking…” said Yahweh, referring to the high ankle sprain that took Redd out of action for 49 games in 2008-2009…”but no, he kept playing, so I had to get serious.”

God was referring to the original ACL tear Redd suffered when he stepped on Luke Ridnour’s foot, which put him into rehab for nearly a year.

Redd was having none of it, however, continuing to misread the Lord’s will and making decisions based on his own, and other humans’ input. “Right now, I’m just trying to surround myself with people who have a lot of faith. I’ve talked a lot to my pastors. My wife has been tremendous; my parents have been great.”

Jehovah, clearly exasperated, outlined for this reporter his long term vision for Redd as a US Ambassador to Lithuania. “I have a flat in Vilnius all lined up for Michael… if he would just stop ignoring me and give up basketball! I really hate to have to resort to amputations, but he’s pushing my buttons!”

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